Decisions

I was recently faced with a big decision. Bogged down with work and church activities, I felt as if I didn’t have time to even breathe. I knew that something had to give and I was going to have to walk away from something. The only question was, what do I walk away from? Everything I’m involved in is good. Youth leader, praise band, work, children’s church. Each of these programs or groups have been orchestrated by God, so they are all good. While that may be true, there is another truth present: just because all of these are “good things”, it does not mean they are good for me to do.

Walking away from something can be hard. It’s especially hard when it is something that you enjoy being a part of. It is even more difficult when you know that you are walking away from something that is of God. If it is of God then it is a good thing and it is okay to continue in it, right? But what if it is God telling you to walk away? What if God is leading you somewhere else that is greater than where you are now? What then? Do you selfishly continue in doing what you want to do because it makes you feel happy and good about yourself, or do you listen to the voice of God as He leads you where He wants you to go?

So I spent some time in prayer. I will admit, I did not spend enough time in prayer over this as I should have, but I still feel that my choice was the choice that lines up with God’s will. So, last night, I closed a chapter in my life that has brought me great happiness and even greater memories. I walked away from a ministry that I have no doubt God put me in for a reason. Through singing with the Youth Praise Band my confidence grew, I learned how to step way out of my comfort zone for Jesus, I built friendships with people who have encouraged me to work toward the dreams that God has placed on my heart, and most importantly, I have grown closer in my walk with the Lord.

I believe that God is calling me to focus my time on other things right now; my future marriage, my writing, and simply drawing closer to Him. It was hard to sing last night, knowing that it may be the last time I sing with this group. Standing with them I even thought to myself “I don’t have to walk away. I’m sure I can make everything work.” But as I was thinking this, I heard God whisper to me “No sweetheart, listen to Me. I know what I am doing and it is for your good.” God has placed a desire and a dream in my heart and I must chase it with all that I have. I want Jesus to be Lord over all of my life, and that means I have to be obedient to his calling, even when that calling is for me to step away from something He was once calling me to.

So for now, I close this chapter and look on it with fond and grateful memories. I thank God for what He has allowed me to do, and I thank God for what He is going to allow me to do in the future to bring glory to His name.