I was looking in one of my notebooks last week and found a page where I had jotted down some scripture, along with the thoughts that I had while reading it. I didn’t read it at the time, but decided to do so today. It is ironic because I included a date at the top of the page, 8/27/16, which was exactly four months ago, today. Today as I read through these passages of scripture and my notes, I was left with a feeling of joy that I have found in Jesus that has helped me overcome the anxiety I was feeling four months ago. It was not the first battle with anxiety, but it was certainly the worst. I vividly remember this night, as I searched for scripture to help me make sense of what I was feeling, and having God speak to me through His word, to reassure me that I am His and that I would be okay. For anyone who may have struggled in the past, or is currently struggling with anxiety, my deepest sympathies go to you. I do not know your personal struggle, but I know mine, and I know that it can be hard. But do not despair, for God loves us and He wants us to come to him with these anxious thoughts and turn it over to Him. I invite you to read the few scripture passages that spoke to me on this particular night and what God revealed to me through His word.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – ESV
Accepting my current state of weakness (anxiety) is a way for God to display His strength through me. Whatever the reason for this season of anxiety, I know it is not in vain. God will use it for a purpose that I do not yet know. He will display Himself in my life in a mighty way, and is certainly doing a work in me!
1 Peter 5:7
“casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for you.” – NASB
Philippians 4:6-7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – NASB
God cares for me so deeply, that He wants me to come to Him with my cares and my worries. I wasn’t made to carry that burden on my own, that is why I have a relationship with Him. I may never understand why I have these worries and anxieties, but God’s peace is more than sufficient for me.
Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” – ESV
I think it’s fitting that this is the last bit of scripture I wrote down on this particular night. I wrote it down, but I didn’t write down what I felt God saying to me through this scripture. I don’t know why I did this. I don’t think it’s because God wasn’t speaking to me, but maybe because I needed to experience what it is truly like to experience perfect peace through God. I can honestly sit here, four months later, and say that I feel I have perfect peace through God because I have finally placed my trust in Him. When I first began having anxiety and panic attacks, I trusted in medicine and doctors, not that there is anything wrong with taking medication. I still do, but I wasn’t communicating with God as I should have been. I didn’t have my eyes fixed on Him and I certainly hadn’t placed all my trust in Him.
So, what does it look like to place all your trust in God, to focus your mind on the things of God? It’s tough, I’ll say that much. I’ll make excuses such as “it’s hard to put my trust in someone I can’t physical see” or think that there’s no way He can take care of the big things. The only thing I can say is to just do it, just go on and trust Him. I think what helped me is each morning when I pray, I ask for strength and wisdom to handle whatever was going to come my way. And each day He does just that. That doesn’t mean that every day is easy, but I have been able to make it through each day on His strength. Remembering that I am not in control is also a freeing thought for me. When I sit back and remember that God is in control and will take care of, and meet my every need, regardless of what the situation, I can breathe easier. There have been days where I felt I had no job security, that I was going to end up broke and end up homeless. But then that still, small voice whispered to me “No My child, you are not going to be alone and I will always take care of you.”
In my moments of anxiety, I am reassured that God has my back. God cares for me, and He wants me to give it all to him. He is big enough to carry my worries and anxieties, and He is big enough to handle me and to take care of me. I can absolutely put my trust in Him because He cares. I may not always get this right, but God continues to bring me one step closer to him through my failures, as long as I keep my eyes focused on Him.
Graceful Living 